Hopes of Financial Regulation

Features

Hopes of Financial Regulation

No Comments 26 February 2010

By Ian Kumekawa

In the wake of a financial crisis that has often been compared to the Great Depression, it is fitting to compare the measures for financial reform currently under debate to the banking reforms of the New Deal. The comparison is more than a little discouraging.

The lasting importance of Roosevelt’s reforms was twofold. First, the system of financial regulation administered by institutions like the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) and Federal Deposit Insurance Commission (FDIC) provided enough oversight of large banks to ensure that the speculative behavior that gave rise to the Great Depression would be detected and quashed in the future. That is, it took steps to prevent a repeat catastrophe. Second, in doing so, it reassured a nervous public and provided the public with certain guarantees for the lasting financial health of the nation. That is, it did much to eliminate the pervasive uncertainty which plagued the financial system.

Though history may prove otherwise, the current plan seems to be much more of a temporary sociological reaction against the excesses of big banking: a weighty, bureaucratic slap on the wrist that ultimately amounts to very little. Despite the free-flowing, anti-big-bank rhetoric that has proliferated since 2007, the financial reform legislation currently under debate in the Senate does not effectively limit the power of existing financial behemoths.  Indeed, in some senses, it would only magnify their influence: while the bill would limit the size and further growth of financial institutions, it would not break up any of the banks currently considered ‘too big to fail,’ thereby giving the existing large banks significant advantages over their smaller, limited competitors.

It is true that parts of the bill make positive steps towards substantial reform. Commercial banks funded with public money would be prohibited from operating hedge funds or from engaging in proprietary trading of financial securities, (that is, when banks trade in markets with their own money for their own profit, rather than on behalf of their clients). These changes represent a policy that former Fed Chairman and Obama advisor Paul Volcker has been supporting for over ten year.  This is a step in the right direction.  But when compared to the New Deal’s Glass-Steagall Act of 1933 (repealed in 1999), which completely prohibited commercial banks from functioning as investment banks, the current bill seems comparatively mild. Additionally, the current legislation seems to ignore a great number of institutions that were key players in bringing about the financial crisis. Companies like Bear Stearns (an investment house) and AIG (an insurance company), which received enormous public bailouts, were not commercial banks taking public deposit and thus would be largely unscathed by the proposed bill.

The most important economist of the depression era, John Maynard Keynes, asserted that above all else, it is the elimination of uncertainty that prevented an economy from stagnation and wrought fitful progress. It fell to the government to provide the assurances, the certainty, that would assuage the fears of individual actors and gently encourage their continued participation in the market. What certainty does the currently proposed bill create? Yes, private savers will know that banks are not using their deposits to run hedge funds, but ultimately the risk of massive financial market failure is not fully negated.  Without systematic regulation of hedge funds and securitization processes, the market could not only fail again, but fail in a way remarkably similar to how the market collapsed in 2007.

It is deeply unsettling that despite an enormous financial crisis and an outpouring of public outrage over the happy-go-lucky behavior of the financial industry, Obama’s administration is not pursuing more comprehensive measures to regulate volatile financial instruments. Perhaps more disturbing is that even today, more than two years after the initial collapse of the housing bubble, Congress has still not passed even a patchy, watered-down financial reform package.

Earlier in February, after two months of backroom Senate discussion, the Chairman of the Senate Banking Committee, Christopher Dodd (D-CT), declared that negotiations with the ranking Republican on the committee, Richard Shelby (R-AL) had reached “an impasse.” On Feb. 11, Doddannounced a partnership with junior Republican Bob Corker of Tennessee in order to craft a viable bill for the Senate. Though Dodd noted that he was more optimistic than he had been in several weeks, it is impossible to predict what further muzzling will be imposed on the bill in the coming weeks.

Since the 1970s, America has been operating within a Neo-Classical, laissez-faire paradigm of economics. The silver lining, if there is one, of major financial shocks like that of 2007 is that they encourage the reexamination of existing, dominant modes of thought. Whether or not the recent crisis completely topples the current paradigm remains to be seen. Yet for the immediate future, it is absolutely certain that America, and specifically the Obama administration, has a responsibility to quickly ensure that the same sort of financial crisis does not strike again.

The Powder Keg in the 21st Century

Features

The Powder Keg in the 21st Century

No Comments 24 February 2010

By Mark Warren

Assistant Secretary of State Philip Gordon on the Obama administration’s vision for Southeastern Europe

Southeastern Europe is home to a centuries-old tradition of instability and conflict, and it remains today one of the world’s most politically complex and fraught regions. The Balkan Peninsula, known for precipitating the First World War, is home to deeply rooted ethnic and nationalistic divisions that have been blamed for countless conflicts, from revolts against the once-ruling Ottomans to the more recent Bosnian War. Strong ethnic identities—geographically inconsistent with the constantly fluctuating political boundaries that are meant to separate them—prevent the nations of this region from breaking the cycle of international and internal instability.

It doesn’t take a foreign policy expert to explain that Southeastern Europe is a volatile region, but figuring out how to fix—or at least ameliorate—its predicament is another story. On February 17 (incidentally, the two-year anniversary of Kosovo’s declaration of independence from Serbia), Dr. Philip H. Gordon, Assistant Secretary of State, Bureau of European and Eurasian Affairs, spoke at the Kennedy School of Government to explain the Obama administration’s plan for Southeastern Europe.

Dr. Gordon opened with an assurance that while the administration’s focus might appear to be elsewhere (there are still a couple of wars going on, after all), Southeastern Europe has not been forgotten. The European Union sees the region’s instability as a liability on the EU’s doorstep, and since American security and European security are linked, it is in both America’s and the EU’s interest to help the perpetually troubled region. One of the Obama administration’s main goals in dealing with the European Union, Gordon explained, is to “complete the project of bringing stability and democracy to all Europe,” which is so far “successful, but unfinished.”

But how does this ambitious project reach fruition in an area where the mismatch between geopolitical and ethnic boundaries seems to prevent any course of conflict resolution other than force? Gordon’s solution lies in political and economic integration into the broader European community: if the political boundaries become less important, it won’t matter as much where they lie. Force only leads to more force further down the road, but a venue for peaceful resolution of conflicts could end the cycle of conflict, and shared economic markets would take some of the pressure off of individual, competing nations. Furthermore, complete integration would make local politics—in this region basically synonymous with corruption—much less important, thus reducing the potential for conflict.

The means to this integration, Gordon claims, lies with the EU and NATO. Once these nations are allied militarily via NATO and integrated economically and politically through the EU (especially if borders are opened to permit easier travel between the nations), they should see the prosperity and growth experienced by the central and eastern European states that followed the same path after the Cold War.

Albania and Croatia are already members of NATO, and membership has been offered to other countries in the region, including Serbia. Croatia and Macedonia (pending the resolution of a dispute with Greece over the use of the name Macedonia) are currently candidates for EU membership, and other Balkan nations are working to meet the requirements for entry, though some (Bosnia, for example) appear to be having serious difficulties in doing so.

Gordon also strongly advocated (while stating for the record that it is solely a European decision) Turkey’s ascension to the EU, which he claimed would greatly help to stabilize the region. This is especially true if a natural gas pipeline can be built through Turkey to Southeastern Europe, as an alternative to the sole Russian pipeline. This would do much to neutralize the political clout accompanying Russia’s complete control of energy resources.

Essentially, Gordon claimed, while the ethnic, religious, and linguistic divisions in Southeastern Europe still exist, political and economic integration into European and trans-Atlantic institutions will alleviate these tensions. The burden for this lies with the EU—this is, after all, a European issue—and with Southeastern European leaders, whose participation in bringing their countries up to EU standards of democracy, law, human rights, and economic strength is crucial.

In theory, Gordon’s policy sounds good, but it might be more optimistic than realistic. Of course, it would be lovely if all the states in Southeastern Europe lifted themselves up to the EU’s entry standards (their economies bolstered, of course, by investment from Greece), agreed to cede a certain degree of sovereignty to join the EU, had the member nations unanimously accept them, and then seamlessly integrated themselves into the EU’s political and economic structures, opening their borders and making their international divisions obsolete.

Certainly, this is an excellent end result for Europe and the United States to try to effect—isn’t it nice when neighborliness and self-interest intersect?—but a less lofty goal might be more beneficial, though less utopic. A country-by-country approach to international and ethnic reconciliation in Southeastern Europe could be a more effective strategy. Nevertheless, one has to give credit for a plan as ambitious as the one being implemented now by the Obama administration and the EU.

If the plan posited by Gordon fails, the same problems that have existed in Southeastern Europe for centuries will remain. And with the Obama administration’s unveiling of new plans to put missile bases in Romania (along with the Moldavan breakaway region of Transnistria’s response of offering to host Russian Iskander missiles next door), global attention is shifting to this region of Europe and stability is as important as ever.

Even if the Balkan states and Turkey wind up in the EU, the potential for further problems exists. While the addition of these states would provide a unified Europe with more security, it could weaken the EU economically, especially at a time when Europe is still trying to recover from the global financial crisis.

Demand Question Time

Editorials

Demand Question Time

No Comments 24 February 2010

The night of January 28th, Barack Obama’s political advisors called the office of Mike Pence, who was organizing the Baltimore retreat for House Republicans at which Obama would be appearing the next day. A question and answer session had been planned and, as was usually the case, the press was to be excluded. The White House wanted to change that and allow cameras into the event. The House GOP concluded that this would give them a chance to show up the president on live television, and so agreed.

The rest of the story is familiar. Obama crushed his Republican interlocutors, accusing them of fantastical policy proposals (“you can’t structure a bill where suddenly 30 million people have coverage and it costs nothing”), ugly smears (“how some of you went after this bill, you’d think that this thing was some Bolshevik plot”), and obstruction (“on some very big things we’ve seen party-line votes that – I’m just going to be honest – were disappointing”). The public response was overwhelming. As of this writing, the White House’s video of the event had 113,918 views – not bad for an hour-and-a-half-long policy discussion. C-Span’s online servers crashed from the increased traffic during its live stream of the event. Obama’s camp declared victory. Soon after, they held a similar event with Senate Democrats and invited Republicans to a televised health care summit along the same lines.

These are good steps, but Obama can and should go further. A group called Demand Question Time is calling for regular question and answer sessions between Obama and the party caucuses from the House and Senate. As the name suggests, the proposal draws inspiration from the British practice of weekly Prime Minister’s Questions, where members of the House of Commons are allowed to question the PM, on television, for thirty minutes every Wednesday. The members of Demand Question Time could hardly be more politically divergent: The Nation editor Katrina vanden Heuvel, leading GOP strategist Grover Norquist, FiveThirtyEight.com guru Nate Silver, and former Bush and McCain advisor Mark McKinnon are all on board. While the cross-ideological nature of the initiative is not a virtue in itself, it does suggest that these events have a benefit greater than simply providing Obama with a forum to argue for progressive values. Indeed, question time would challenge not just cheap conservative talking points, but the broader media culture that allows them to take root, which canny conservatives want to take down every bit as much as liberals do.

Case in point: CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News all aired the January 29th GOP Retreat question and answer session live on air, without interruption. However, while CNN and MSNBC both aired the entire event, Fox News cut away from the event with twenty minutes still left to go. It would be easy to conclude that this decision was born out of a conservative network’s disinclination to allow a liberal president to make his case so effectively on their watch. The fact that Fox cut away to critical insta-reactions to the event in progress (“there was a little bit of lecturing there, and the president was a little bit combative at times”) bolsters this theory. The question and answer session posed a threat not just to Fox’s political leanings, but to its entire business model. Obama showed that an informative, substantive policy discussion can make for vital and compelling television. Fox has reached its current position by denying such discussions in favor of an empty, soundbite-based mode of discourse, and many have reacted with a certain resignation to that model’s success. The conclusion was that this was what the electorate wanted, and so it was only fair for a sufficiently craven network to oblige. But the retreat showed that a more substantive model could still be popular, and perhaps even profitable. We cannot know what motivated Fox to cut away, but if the effectiveness of question time does not scare them, it should.

Indeed, in countries that have implemented regular question times, vibrant, publicly viewed debate on substantive policy questions is encouraged. While the British political culture leaves much to be desired, Prime Minister’s Questions have forced party leaders to show a detailed understanding of policy on a regular basis. For example, back-and-forths between current PM Gordon Brown and Conservative opposition leader David Cameron over the current response to the economic crisis take on the character of a debate over the virtues of Keynesian economics, not whether Brown’s policies are “tax-and-spend” or some other glib cliché. Indeed, the British example shows how question time can be good for both parties. Obama gained an advantage by dancing circles around the House GOP’s simplistic “small government” rhetoric. If question time were a regular occurrence, it would force the GOP to become better prepared for the debate, and the public would be better off for it.

Critics of question time suggest that it is somehow beneath the Congress. Responding to a similar 2008 proposal from John McCain, George Will warned that importing British-style question time would, “further diminish Congress’s dignity by deepening the perception of its subordination.” On the contrary, question time would chip away at the cult of the presidency that has developed since the advent of mass media. The outsized presence of the president, far greater than that of any legislative leader, has created an unrealistic expectation of omnipotence, and made Congress largely invisible to the casual observer. Question time would remind voters of Congress’ determining role in creating policy, and would make its members household names with far larger public influence, who can then be more easily held to account.

More to the point, whatever its effects on Congress, question time enhances the dignity of the democratic process. The American people have a right to know not only what their government is doing, but also why their government is doing it. By cutting through a simplistic media culture, question time would live help the government live up to that obligation.

Harvard Grows and Grows and Grows

Features

Harvard Grows and Grows and Grows

No Comments 24 February 2010

By Branden Adams

Harvard’s announcement of plans to build the Allston science complex contained a variety of justifications for the construction. The first one was stated as a syllogism: “For Harvard to maintain its leadership in the life sciences and compete effectively to attract preeminent research scientists and programs, it is critical that a state-of-the-art science complex be developed as soon as possible.” This phrasing created a situation in which rejection of the construction project could be read as a simultaneous rejection of Harvard’s desire to “compete effectively” with other institutions. Such a technique is nothing new: the University’s planners, as well as its alumni development machine, have by now mastered the practice of accomplishing goals. And it works!

Developers, like those involved with the Allston project, want the public to believe that growth is natural without accepting that growth no longer may be necessary. It seems odd because we Harvardians imagine that Harvard is like an old man—wise and past the tremors of his youth. When Harvard’s Allston Development group tells the city of Boston that it is “critical” that Harvard do this, what exactly do they mean by “critical”? Is it the “critical” situation of a child who has outgrown his playpen?

The most significant quality of the Institutional Master Plan as presented to the Boston Redevelopment Authority (BRA) is the one that is implicitly elided: the past story of Harvard’s expansion in Cambridge. A re-telling of this story helps to elucidate how Harvard could claim that its demands were “critical” and thus force the city to allow Harvard to build as it pleases.

The story of Harvard’s expansion begins in the first years of the college’s existence. Starting in the area around Grays and Matthews, the college continued to fill in the current Old Yard. The current Tercentenary Theatre along Quincy Street once hosted professors’ mansions. It is perhaps these homes that Edward Johnson described in his 1654 description of the campus—a description that still carries meaning regarding Harvard’s land acquisition in Allston: “The scituation of this Colledg is very pleasant, at the end of a spacious plain,more like a bowling green, then a Wilderness, neer a fair navigable river, environed with many Neighbouring Towns of note, being so neer, that their houses joyn with her Suburbs, … it is atpresent inlarging by purchase of neighbour houses…”

Until the end of the nineteenth century, expansion continued north across Cambridge Street to the academic buildings that now house the Law School and the Divinity School as well as the cadre of chemistry, biology, geology, and other laboratories. In the early twentieth century, the University began additional development along both sides of the river, building the Stadium in the 1910s, the Business School in the 1920s, and several of the current undergraduate houses in the 1930s. More recently, the University continued to acquire parcels of land in between Massachusetts Avenue and Mount Auburn Street, as well as several plots closer to Brattle Street. Some were for institutional use; others were simply real estate holdings. Important recent growth was the construction of the twin buildings of the Center for Government and International Studies (CGIS). Located on opposite sides of Cambridge Street, the two buildings, completed shortly after 2000, were the subject of a bitter dispute between the University and that sociological category referred to in newspapers as “local activists.” The fight was over a proposed tunnel that would connect the two CGIS buildings and would pass underneath Cambridge Street. The Harvard Crimson blamed a failure of communication for the demise of the tunnel project and predicted, as both the community and the university suffered from the failure to reach an agreement, that town and gown would work better together in the future.

This editorial, published in February 2003, might seem odd to the unacquainted for its unequivocal support of the tunnel project. But the language of the arguments doesn’t make sense to anyone unaware that there was supposed to be a tunnel there at some time in the past. This raises an interesting counterpoint to the Allston Development Group’s justification for Harvard’s expansion into Allston.

An article on the tunnel controversy in The Crimson, written more than a year before the tunnel’s eventual failure, states: “The center formerly known as Knafel came under fire again last night—this time for a tunnel crucial to its current design.”

Certainly, no one today would say that the tunnel is “crucial” to its current design.

In fact, if one did not know that there was supposed to be a tunnel there, then one could not even fathom making such a statement. We use CGIS and it works. None of the currently perceived drawbacks of the building–windowless lecture halls, the perfusion of granite, boring white drywall—are in any way related to the tunnel controversy. Yet the controversy was echoed in Allston, along the same lines and in the same language as the CGIS controversy. We begin to see how this notion of “crucial” gets emptied of its meaning when we consider the projects that the University considered “crucial” in the past.

The idea that a new Science Center is not crucial to the development of the university might seem impossible to the Allston Development Group. It would not be difficult to imagine similar discussions happening around every plan that the University has made.

This is not a question of Harvard’s standards; rather, it is about the construction of a certain kind of idea: that of absolutely necessity. If or when the new science complex is completed, those who use its spaces will not see it the way the developers do now. If it is not built, or is built according to a significantly reduced plan, new faculty who come to Harvard will not feel that they are perpetually slighted due to Harvard’s failure to fulfill its original development plan because the details of the original plan will become irrelevant.

Potential for Penile Expansion?

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Potential for Penile Expansion?

1 Comment 24 February 2010

By Daniel Villafaña

Wieners, hot links, bratwurst, and breakfast sausages are all conglomerations of meat that millions of Americans enjoy. In between a bun at a tailgate, or next to eggs at breakfast, these fatty, salty, yummy foods all bear a striking resemblance to missiles, baseball bats, dildos, even the Eiffel Tower. In fewer words, they look like penises. Although as children, we joke about the resemblance, sooner or later it becomes insignificant. So if we have all accepted that we enjoy our meat in the shape of a phallus, why do we refuse to go a step further? Let us eat penis.

Guolizhuang, a restaurant in Beijing, specializes in penis cuisine. Guolizhuang has a wide selection of penis dishes including ox penis, horse penis, snake penis, donkey penis, yak penis, deer penis and seal penis. But not all penises are created equal. Goat penis has a reputation of being very difficult to swallow, Ox penises are huge, and when sliced vertically donkey penis looks JUST LIKE BACON!

But without a large market, penis remains a delicacy and thus can be very expensive. At Guolizhuang, a plate of horse penis costs 65 dollars and a plate of seal penis costs 350 dollars. In the United States, although difficult to find, reasonably priced ox penis can be purchased in some Asian food markets. Unfortunately directions on how to cook the foodstuff are hard to come by. If you attempt to Google penis recipes, you can guess the sort of results that appear.

What the world of penis cuisine needs is demand. If every American wanted a penis on their dinner table, penis subsides would pop up faster than an erection. Sadly, reality comes into play. Our planet would not survive another boom in livestock production, and a demand for a type of rare penis could wipe out entire species. Sharks and rhinos are killed for pseudo-medicinal reasons, and the same could happen to any penis bearing species if lies of virility started to spread.

Mouths may have begun to water, but we cannot ignore the bigger penis. Picture. It would be cruel to open a new market that would result in the slaughter of animals on a massive scale. Although prices are exorbitant, in its current state the penis market is sustainable. It may be best to leave this exotic cuisine as a delicacy.

The world can handle one more Guolizhuang however. Perhaps Cambridge, Massachusetts will be the proud home of a second location. But until that time comes, there are several foods available today that only need slight alterations to give them that authentic look.

Illustration: The Ultimate Procrastination

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Illustration: The Ultimate Procrastination

No Comments 23 February 2010

By Oscar A. Zarate

- And you thought you were behind on your moral reasoning paper…

The Cult of Optimism: Barbara Ehrenreich’s Bright-Sided

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The Cult of Optimism: Barbara Ehrenreich’s Bright-Sided

No Comments 09 February 2010

By Lucy Caplan

Barbara Ehrenreich, Bright-Sided: How The Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America

Metropolitan Books, 276 pages, $23.00.

“But isn’t positive…good?” Barbara Ehrenreich heard this question many times while researching her new book, Bright-Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America. So let’s begin with a clear understanding of what the book does and does not say about “positive thinking.” Nowhere does Ehrenreich claim that we should focus only on the negative or that we should stop aspiring toward happiness. What Ehrenreich does say is less gloomy, more constructive and, ultimately, much more important than that. Rather than advocating negativity, Bright-Sided focuses on the dangers and limitations of positive thinking as an ideology. To reject positive thinking is not to support negative thinking, but to support a realistic point of view that is critical and constructive. An unfailingly positive outlook may appear harmless, but according to Ehrenreich, it is at best, misleading, and at worst, amazingly dangerous.

Despite what its counterintuitive premise might suggest, Bright-Sided is fun to read. Ehrenreich’s claims are supported with evidence, often in the form of entertaining stories – one of my favorites involves a megachurch preacher with a “definite mullet” who encourages people to ask God for good parking spaces. The brilliance of the book lies in the way the author unites a patchwork of examples, ranging from personal anecdotes to the global recession.

Just what makes positive thinking so hazardous? A central theme of Ehrenreich’s book is the self-deception that such thought entails. To think positively requires one to think selectively, blocking all negative ideas and emotions. This process is not critical: there is no evaluation of which thoughts are most valuable or most relevant. Instead, it forces one to throw out potentially important ideas based on a single criterion. Ehrenreich uses the compelling story of her own breast cancer diagnosis to demonstrate the pervasiveness of this type of thinking. The reasoning behind what Ehrenreich calls “deliberate self-deception” is that positive thinking will actually lead to positive outcomes. When she was diagnosed with cancer, Ehrenreich found herself plunged into an ever-positive pink-ribbon culture, rife with rhinestone-studded clothing and teddy bears, that claimed that a positive attitude boosts the immune system and increases the likelihood of survival. Though the science behind this assertion is dubious, its influence is enormous. Cancer is referred to as an “opportunity” or “gift;” moreover, it can be overcome if the sufferer puts her energy into thinking positively. Ehrenreich points out several problems with this type of mentality: it can come across as infantilizing or demeaning to sufferers, and it requires them to expend their energy toward appearing upbeat to those around them. Most strikingly, though, it implies that patients who cannot overcome cancer have somehow failed to put in enough effort. If they would just try a little harder, cancer sufferers could overcome their disease. Put this way, the idea seems absurd: of course people who die from cancer are not at fault for their own death. But Ehrenreich reveals how pseudoscientific positive thinking becomes a dangerous way of distorting the truth and, perversely, shifting the blame for disease onto sufferers.

The sort of self-deception that positive thinking encourages extends beyond personal ordeals such as illness. Anyone wishing to practice positive thinking, according to its doctrines, should eliminate not only negative thoughts, but also negative information. For example, many proponents recommend that one stop watching the news, and cut out negative people from his or her life. After all, these influences will inevitably diminish personal happiness and make a uniformly positive outlook more challenging to uphold. But as Ehrenreich astutely points out, “Purge everyone who ‘brings you down,’ and you risk being very lonely or, what is worse, cut off from reality…There seems to be a massive empathy deficit, which people respond to by withdrawing their own.” How to justify a way of thinking that requires willful ignorance of anything unpleasant around you? Positive thinking, as Ehrenreich explains it, begins to look darker and darker.

Conveniently enough, positive thinking is a process that often requires ample help from motivational speakers, self-help books, “complaint-free bracelets,” and the like. Positive-thinking paraphernalia has become an industry, and its clients are not only individuals, but also corporations and businesses. Positive thinking’s growing influence in corporate America can be seen in a recent re-interpretation of the CEO’s role as leadership rather than administration: in this understanding, corporate leaders prioritize their own gut feelings and instincts over objective and balanced analysis. The results of this system are not good: indeed, Ehrenreich boldly titles one chapter of her book “How Positive Thinking Destroyed the Economy,” asserting that a positive-thinking culture in which corporate leaders refuse to consider negative outcomes was a central contributor to the economic crash. In one of the most interesting insights of Bright-Sided, Ehrenreich characterizes this type of leadership as a spiritualized form of business: within a corporation, a single leader has unlimited, practically divine authority, and comes to be seen as infallible. Yet at the same time, America’s largest religious institutions, megachurches, are becoming increasingly secularized; they focus less on religious transcendence and more on a God who wants people to be rich, successful, and happy.

As Ehrenreich’s myriad examples show, the message of positive thinking is pervasive in American culture. In fact, it’s so omnipresent that sometimes I wished she wouldn’t use such extreme examples, such as a company that was sued for giving employees “motivational spankings.”  Positive thinking, and the potentially dangerous consequences it brings, are not relegated to unusual cases but, rather, have become part of the mainstream mentality. The use of these wacky examples draws attention away from the pervasiveness of this type of thought.

America’s widespread embrace of positive thinking raises the question of what it has done for our society’s psyche. Has positive thinking made us happier? Well, not exactly. Bright-Sided reveals that according to most (admittedly vague) studies of national happiness, Americans remain less happy than citizens of many similarly situated countries. Despite our efforts at optimism, and our objective wealth and stability as a nation, positive thinking has had little effect on American happiness. As this paradoxical unhappiness suggests – and as Bright-Sided makes abundantly clear — perhaps “positive” isn’t so good after all.

Nightlight: The Lampoon Takes On The Vampire Fad

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Nightlight: The Lampoon Takes On The Vampire Fad

No Comments 01 February 2010

By Michaela Ross

Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series has certainly received a lot of criticism. It has been attacked for being sexist, “abstinence porn,” and just plain badly written. Many have commented on the negative impact of filling the minds of young women with the idea that sex is dangerous and scary, or that women should define their femininity through their vulnerability to their partners. The books unquestionably contain a troubling account of the ideal young romance.

But the truth is that much like the rap songs with vulgar lyrics we all sing along to, the books are catchy. They are fun to read. They have taken the nation by storm and have sold in record numbers. I am embarrassed to admit that not only have I read them, but they probably significantly reduced the number of friends I made during Freshman Week…I was too busy reading about Edward and Bella.Thus, I was very satisfied to come across The Harvard Lampoon’s Nightlight: A Parody, which keeps the entertainment and loses the unsettling undertones of the original series. In fact, Nightlight uses those disquieting elements as fodder for its comedy. In this 160-page satire of the first book in the Twilight series, the Lampoon turns the original book on its head in a way that makes for fun reading and a satisfying answer to the questionable aspects of Meyer’s original series.

The comedy begins with the premise. The original series tells the story of Bella, a high school girl, falling in love with Edward, a centuries old and very attractive vampire. In Nightlight, the young Belle forces herself upon a dorky young fellow human, Edwart, all the while harboring hopes of his secretly being a vampire. At every turn, Belle interprets his nerdy actions as signs of his deep desire to drink her blood.

Thus, it remains the story of a girl obsessed with being overtaken by a strong, potentially lethal man. Bella’s role in the original series was, as journalist Laura Miller writes, “…more of a place holder than a character. She is purposely made as featureless and ordinary as possible in order to render her a vacant, flexible skin into which the reader can insert herself and thereby vicariously enjoy Edward’s chilly charms.” This lack of any feature but vulnerability was one of the most unsettling aspects of the character of Bella in the original series. Nightlight, however, asks the reader to mock, rather than identify with, the protagonist and her desires to be dominated by a vampire. When first talking to Edwart, Belle writes, “I doodled a picture of what I’d look like as a vampire. I’d look very feminine.” This portrayal of femininity as only accessible solely through male domination is at the core of what readers found sexist in the original book. Yet here, the Lampoon uses Belle’s narrative to show just how silly that idea of femininity is. As the book progresses, it becomes increasingly clear to the reader that Edwart is not, in fact, a vampire. Yet, Belle persists in believing that he is.  Belle is turned into a caricature of Meyer’s original portrayal of womanhood, and thus makes for an amusing answer to the original series.

The entire debate over the original Twilight series provided insight into popular views on female sexuality in this country. Many argued that the books promoted an unhealthy image of love and sex for young girls. Yet, as Sady Doyle pointed out in the American Prospect, there are two sides to every story. While many have claimed that Twilight is a step back for feminism in this country, Doyle points out that similarly poorly written sexual fantasies exist in the works of Tom Clancy and Dan Brown, yet the media is not overly concerned. Rather, she argues, the responses to the Twilight series have been so vehement precisely because the books have provided what few others do: a non-threatening sexual fantasy world for young teenage girls, a group whose sexuality makes many people uncomfortable.

While Doyle does make a valid point about responses to the original Twilight series, Nightlight avoids this simply by choosing a different audience. Nightlight, unlike Twilight, isn’t meant for the tween girl set.  It is clearly targeted at college students and adults. The dorky, Harvard-y academic references add even more humor for the informed reader and mark another contrast between the parody and the original. Says Belle after one of her friends has a premonition (this book is filled with zany stuff like that): “Was that an omen? As far as I knew only vampires and girls who’d read the major works of Jane Austen had unique abilities. In any case…I tend toward diplomacy even in games such as Risk, decreeing a ceasefire for everyone by swiping the board off the table.” Belle is not meant to represent our deepest sexual urges. Rather, she is a silly character intended for an audience that recognizes the faults of the original series.

In the end, this book is probably not intended as a political statement. Rather, it is meant to be funny. And it is. The Lampoon does a great job of satirizing what was perhaps the most commonly noted flaw of the original series: its bad writing. The Lampoon makes the voice of Belle silly to the extreme, with odd metaphors and clunky wording.  For its humor alone, for vampires and humans alike, this book is worth a read.


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